Snake-o-Rama, or Summer of the Snakes

This has been the Summer of the Snake. No, not some kind of reference to the Chinese New Year or anything like that. I mean this year has been a snake-o-ramma of finding snakes everywhere, including some really strange places...

In the very beginning of summer, my hens were laying so well. I would get a dozen or so beautiful blue, green, rose, and brown eggs. I use tons of eggs in my baking, so that's a great thing, but my little eggs are so beautiful that just looking at them gives me happiness.

I let the gals out several days a week to cluck around the yard, eat bugs, and generally menace the cats and dogs. So, when I didn't get any eggs for two days I wondered about it. But then we saw Seth's fat little hound, April, creeping out of the pen with something in her mouth. She laid it carefully on the grass and stood admiring it with a doggy grin. You could practically hear her whispering, “It's mine, my Precious...” When I came up on her, she scampered away from her prize, the picture of contrition. It was a perfect egg, without even a toothmark. So that's where my eggs had gone, I thought.

The next day, I told my son,Will, that I had the strangest dream. I dreamt I had walked into the kitchen to cook and I saw something move outside the French doors. I realized it was a giant black snake and it was headed for the chicken house. In my dream I thought, “No, that is where my eggs are going.” But, because it was a dream, I kept on doing my dreamtime things.

The next day I went out to check for eggs, and there were none. At that moment I remembered my dream. I laughed at myself, thinking I was a really ninny to actually look for a snake just because I dreamt it. But in brushing at the straw in the hollow where the chickens sit, I saw a thick coil of shiny black scales! Will was due home any moment, and so I waited for him, because he likes to catch black snakes. I don't hesitate to grab garter snakes and such, but black snakes can be aggressive and I am leery to go for them.

Shhh, I'm hiding...

Will was up for a snake capture, but when we brushed back more of the straw, even he rocked back on his heels. “It's a monster,” he declared. Not wanted to get bitten, we found the head and I attempted to hold it down with a stick until he could grab it. 

A very unwilling captive

When he hauled it from under its camouflage we realized it was almost as long as Will is tall- 6'2”. It was probably a female because of its size, and it was glisteningly gorgeous and healthy. I was running my hands down it's length and felt several large lumps. I stopped to feel one and it popped under my fingers. She was full of my eggs! 

See the knots down her body? Eggs!

Into a tote she went, and then we drove down the dirt road, across the highway, down another dirt road, until we came to a pond to release her by. Black snakes are wonderful snakes to have around, eating poisonous snakes, rats, mice, etc. But I didn't need her dining at my chicken house.

Why did we take her so far away? Because I have had a chicken visitor before. We captured the snake and took it down the road to a pond. It was back in two days. So then we took it down several dirt roads and let it go by the creek in Springtown. It was back in two weeks. So I put it in a bucket and sent it with my hubby when he went to Beaver Lake. I expect it to be back in about two years...

Of course, there were tons of others snakes this summer, just wriggling by, minding their own business, when they found that they needed to be held for a bit...

Our next snake incident was when our a/c had a leak and I woke up to the Sheetrock in ceiling of the hallway bowed down like a grinning mouth. Hubby was at camp at the time and told Will and I to “take care of it”. Hmmm. That meant climbing into the attic with trash bags and pulling out all the soaked insulation. Not a fun job at the best of times, but on Will's second handful, the insulation started rolling like an ocean filled with fish. You know how your mind kinda blanks out at times of shock and it comes up with ridiculous scenarios? Mine said, “How did moles get in the attic?!” Because it looked like when the earth heaves as moles tunnel. Will was surprised also and tentatively stuck his hand back in. He concluded it was a big snake. 

You try and find a snake's head in amidst a bunch of shifting insulation, while holding a flashlight, and perching straddled across two beams so you don't fall through the roof. It was impossible, even with me helping. Bless his heart, he finally just grabbed hold of a writhing bit and pulled it out. It was NOT happy. Will didn't get bitten, but it was a rodeo for him to get the thing into the trash bag I was holding open. And then the snake was so mad that it was striking the side of the bag as I climbed one-handed down the ladder, the other hand holding the snake out as far from me as possible. I tossed it into the woods and went back for more fun.

William Cole has been a great snake catcher from way back...

The next incident was the most startling of all, and gave even a die-hard snake fan like me chills that lasted for a while. Perhaps I should back up a bit. Some of you probably don't know that when people want to show me love, they bring me dead stuff. Everything from beautiful butterflies they find on the pavement to the dead flying squirrel a cousin took from her cat. When someone comes over holding out a ziplock bag, I get all sorts of warm, fuzzy feelings. No, I am not a total sicko. I am a naturalist, a biology teacher, and someone who is just fascinated by everything this big ole world has to offer. Even if it's dead. Sometimes especially if it's dead.

a ziplock Love-Gift :)

So, on this occasion it was my Pop who came in the door holding the ziplock bag. He had spent he morning at his land in Oklahoma. There he came upon a large copperhead. Now, when we find poisonous snakes in the woods or wilds, we leave them alone. We only kill them if they are near the house or where we walk. This snake had the misfortune of choosing our camp site as his new home. Pop said he knew he should kill it, but it was beautiful, and he wanted it to be nice so that I could stuff it. (Did you know that I am going to be a taxidermist when I grow up? And a Patisserie chef on the side.)

Not wanting to damage it, he killed it with several blows of a stick to the head. As he was saying this, I was eyeing the swinging bag carefully. I told him I was certain I saw movement. Pop replied that perhaps it was death shakes. Snakes are cold blooded and can make random movements for over 24 hours after death. That is where the old saying, “A snake never dies till sundown,” came from. I told Pop to put that bag down on the table right now, because I did not think it was dead. He looked at the sack once he had released it and admitted that the bag was fogged up a lot, like perhaps it had been breathing (!!!). I wanted to examine the snake, but not touch the bag and risk getting bitten. I got a mixing bowl and hastily scooped the bag into it. Upon hitting the bottom of the bowl, the copperhead was fully awakened and went into strike position, eyeing me so closely that its slitted eye was almost against the bag. That gave me a bit of the heeby-jeebies.

copperhead in a ziplock

There were only two options- release a poisonous snake somewhere around home, or finish the job. I do NOT kill animals. The only times I have intentionally caused the death of an animal is when I find one terribly wounded and I have to put it out of it's misery. I knew I did not want an extra copperhead on place. I also knew that a biologist in Florida told me that the most humane way to kill a snake (he had been on the boa round-ups to get invasive species out of the Everglades) was to put it in the fridge until it's temperature dropped. Then a trip to the freezer would simply put it to sleep.

 This snake was very awake and very active, I could not imagine tucking him into the fridge beside the milk and eggs. Even I have my limits. And so I gritted my teeth and decided to put it into my “specimen” freezer. It is filled with every kind of critter imaginable, waiting for the day when it can be dissected for a class, or stuffed. As I opened the lid and prepared to toss the venomous creature in, I begged it's forgiveness. Not just for the freezing bit, but looking into the cavern I about to hurl it into, I realized it was like Dante's seventh circle of Hell for a snake. It would probably land in between a large black snake hit by a car, and a water snake killed by a boat. I yelled that I was sorry as I flung it in and slammed the lid. Whew. That was one for the record books.

Fully frozen copperhead, ready to educate children on how to identify poisonous snakes. Then it will be dissected to show the amazing internal workings of reptiles. Afterwards, perhaps, stuffed!

The next snake incident was only bizarre, not scary. We kept having the breaker switch to the bathroom flip. My hubby said that something must be in one of the outlets on the outside of the house. He accused me of having left something plugged in and water getting into the outlet. I protested that I had nothing plugged in. Then he yelled from the front porch, “Oh, you don't, huh?” I stomped out there to tell him I hadn't plugged a blessed thing in, when... I realized that it was snake that had somehow plugged itself in. I'm not sure what happened, only that the black snake was wound through the netting for my clematis vine, part of the body was over the electrical outlets, but the bottom half was gone.

Incinerated, melted, whatever. It was pretty gross. Let me say that snake was stuffed full of blackbirds. (Well, the parts that were left.) Could it have been too fat to go through the lattice and died that way, shorting the outlet? Or did it actually use it's muscular body to accidentally lift the lid to the plug-in and get zapped? Who knows, Dear Reader, but now the bathroom light stays on.

And the final snake incident, as summer winds down. We went to an incredible spot in Berryville, AR, called Snake World. It is just a couple of old trailers that a married couple put together and filled with snakes and reptiles. 

Look at poor moma, she is so nervous but still trying to enjoy the experience. What a trooper!

The lady who took us through loved the snakes (she only took care of the non-venomous, the poisonous snakes were her husband's) and held and cooed to them. ("Who's a good girl? You are!")

She told me things I had never read about snakes, and gave us the chance to hold and adore dozens of varieties. It was absolutely amazing! If you ever have the chance to go, it is well worth the $10 for an educational tour worthy of a zoo. 

This snake loved human hair, and Devin certainly had enough to make it happy. There's about 2 1/2 feet of snake inside that ponytail...

I am excited to announce that both of my daughters-in-law have become snake fans. To the point of becoming able to hold them and admire them as one of God's wonders. Even my dear snake-o-phobic Moma touched two of them!!! That is a real miracle, folks, and I was just so proud of her!

And so fall is descending and snakes will begin to get more scarce and then retreat to winter holes. My chickens were spooked for weeks and told me that they would just keep those eggs tucked up in their heinies for now, thankyouverymuch. They did not relish the thought of squatting back in the same place where the scaly black thing had waited, licking its lips for warm eggs. They only just started back laying in time to molt and go on strike again. Oh, dear...

Life is mighty interesting when it's filled with critters!