Caramel Toffee No-Bake Cookies

If a stranger on the street walked up to me and said, "There is this no-bake cookie (my ears would prick up like a hound's) that you can make in about 10 minutes (I'm nodding now) and it has Toffee bits (saliva starts) and chocolate chips in it- (sob)--". They wouldn't get any further, because I would have fallen prostrate, arms around their knees, begging them to take me to this cookie Nirvana and not torture me anymore. That's kinda disturbing. I'm not tempted by candy, but obviously I would be highly kidnapable if you offer the right kind of cookie. Maybe I shouldn't let that type of info out ;)

So, here I am, Dear Reader, and I am offering the same bargain. Come with me and I will show you cookie heaven...the kind that makes you eat till your tummy hurts and yet you are still eyeing that particularly gooey one and wondering if that last one might kill you. Because I am that kind of friend. 

I found this recipe at littledairyontheprairie and I did not change it a whit. Yeah, chew on that piece of disbelief for a while. I am the kind of person who, when I see a recipe that includes something like add one cake mix, I toss it over my shoulder. I do not try to be a snoot, I just really hate the chemical taste in mixes. And that actually served me well when we found out my youngest son was allergic to POLYPROPYLENE GLYCOL. Say that five times fast. And it is in everything from transmission fluid to jet fuel, from toothpaste to storebought baking mixes. Explain that to me. Anyhoo, this recipe called for butterscotch pudding mix (which does not contain the above chemical, just lots of other ones) and for some reason I didn't even bat an eye.

Now all you butterscotch haters out there, take a deep breath. I imagine the only kinds of butterscotch you've had are commercial. Did you know that butterscotch is butter and sugar cooked up to a caramel? Yes, I said caramel! To make it the lighter flavor of butterscotch, say for a pie, you make the caramel base and simply add eggs and cream. Butterscotch is the love-child of caramel, folks. And in this cookie it's a keeper of a kid.

Enough rhapsodizing, here's the recipe-
Caramel Toffee No-Bakes

2 cups sugar 
3/4 cup butter
2/3 cup evaporated milk
Combine these over medium heat. Bring it to a rolling boil, stirring occasionally. (A rolling boil is one where the bubbles do not stop when you stir.) 
Remove from heat and stir in:
3 and 1/2 cups oats (she calls for quick, but I used regular because I like the texture much better in cookies )
3.4 oz box of instant Butterscotch pudding
Two good pinches of Kosher or Sea Salt
Let the mixture sit for a few minutes to cool some. Otherwise the chips will melt when stirred in. Then add:
1 cup chocolate chips
1/2 cup Toffee bits 

 Don't over stir or all the chips will melt. Use a scoop and place on waxed paper to cool and firm up, approx 15 minutes. Eat at least two while they are still hot and gooey and you have to use a spoon. Trust me here.

Okay, folks. There you have it. I am sitting here slightly sweaty and nauseous because I literally just made these and then consumed a vast number so that I could fully convey their deliciousness to you. See how much I care about you? But here's the deal. Tonight is Family Dinner. I already have chocolate pots de creme in the fridge, and the caramel cookies cooling on a marble slab, but I usually do three desserts for my hoard. I found another no-bake recipe, Dear Reader. It's for coconut-pecan pralines. Oh, I am groaning just writing the words. I'm not sure I can bear the taste testing necessary to make them today! Maybe I'll feel better by this afternoon. After all, it's only a little past breakfast...

UPDATE: After family dinner I got to try these again, fully set. It is the same story as regular chocolate no-bakes, the cookies are just the best when they are hot and gooey. Not only that, these are so rich! Next time I will half the recipe and I will make them with the small dough scoop instead of the softball sized one ;). And, I will make them on a day when I don't intend on eating much else. That way I can consume my weight in the gooey batter straight out of the pan, and not care if I see food for the rest of the day...